I remember dancing. I remember dancing under the moonlight, the drum’s beating heart enticing my body to sway. I remember hips circling, arms swirling, bare feet stomping on the naked earth. I remember hearing her song of devotion, the melodic sound dissolving my resistance. The seamless beauty of her voice seduces my spirit into this journey of embodiment.
I remember blood. I remember blood streaming down my thighs, eager to return to the land below. Like a lost child returning to its mother, my blood finds its way home. I remember my womb, nurturing life and then letting go. I remember painting my face with my blood, surrendering to the wildness of my animal nature.
I remember fire. I remember fire sparking passion, awakening desire, warming flesh and bone. I remember flame beckoning to me like a lover, calling me into its embrace and lighting my way through the mystery. I remember rising to meet it, fierce and powerful, raging with pleasure and love. Together we burn away the old, our alchemical cauldron birthing a new way.
This I remember. This is what I find, when I strip away the layers of clothing. This is what I find, when I shed the wounds of fear, shame, and isolation.
And through this stripping, I re-member that my wounds are a gateway to my power.
Through the gateway of my fear, lies the deepest love I have ever known. Behind this door, there is trust that does not falter no matter what horrors or grief I encounter, because this love is bigger than anything else has ever been. Here there is intimacy that cannot be lost, because it is inextricably woven into the fabric of existence.
Through the gateway of my shame, emerges pleasure beyond my wildest dreams. Here there is joy and delight in every sensual experience, and in every aspect of being alive.
Through the gateway of my isolation, comes the unshakable knowing of Oneness, even in this separate body. The separate Self simply provides an opportunity to revel more fully in the magic of unity.
For how can we truly know the magnificence of being whole and intact, if we have never known the sorrow of being broken?
My spirit knows unity in every breath.
Yet my body needs to feel the sturdy ground of earth, the sparking heat of fire, the tickling scent of an ocean breeze, the ridged bark of an ancient oak, the rhythmic vibration of a purring cat, the smoothness of a snake’s skin, the embrace of a beloved. My body needs to feel another body joining with mine, in ecstatic surrender, in order to remember that we are already One.