I FEEL SO ALIVE!!
Through this experience, I have learned fully the beauty of my body, as well as my soul. I am excited to say that I now feel completely comfortable being naked around anybody.
I LOVE THIS FEELING!
I am so proud of myself to have accomplished feeling and being this way.
Getting here took a long time for me, but it has honestly been worth all the work.
What got me here, you might be wondering?
Confronting myself on what I like and don’t like, through the experiences of my life.
Through my suffering, some of the things I’ve learned:
Growing up in a town that does not accept people that are gay and feeling that I had to be with men for affection, and most of all protection, caused me to feel trapped in a world that was not safe.
Getting an STD was an extremely traumatizing experience. Feelings of embarrassment and fear of being judged led me to stay silent about my ailment. I am grateful to the divine universe that I have healed completely from it. I have now set a practice for myself to always honor my body.
Having two sisters in my family putting me down constantly when I wore a beautiful outfit kept me from fully expressing myself. As I matured into my feminine body, my two eldest sisters constantly made cruel and rude remarks about my body, attempting to tear my self esteem down. Although their tactic worked at first, I am now able to see that their attack on me is simply due to their own insecurities. I realize that the healthiest course of action for me to take is to stay away from that which is destructive, even if they are family.
Through my Joys, some of the things I’ve learned:
Moving to Asheville, NC allowed me to be in an environment that was very supportive of me expressing myself. The caring community of this little mountain city helped to create a place where I felt secure in being gay. Having lived the reality of this acceptance has helped me understand that a place like this really exists.
Most of all getting to this place of abundance in my life came from:
Congratulating myself on the many steps along the way. As soon as I notice myself feeling excited and at ease with things that before were uncomfortable for me, I pause and take a moment to smile and say to myself, “Woohoo, you did it!” Then I celebrate, and treat myself to something I really love. I rent a movie I really enjoy, have a lovely dinner with a friend, or buy a beautiful item of clothing. The next day, I continue toward my goal with excitement, knowing that I am on the right path, seeing and embracing that I am making progress every day.
Right now in my life, I have reached a big goal of mine: To be completely comfortable in my body and soul, which enables me to fully express myself. I now take great joy in knowing and celebrating that a big part of the journey is learning to be comfortable in the uncomfortable.
Now I understand the famous quote by Dan Millman, from The Way of the Peaceful Warrior:
“The journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination.”
For there would be no destination, and no reason to celebrate in our evolution, if everything was known. We are here to learn about our bodies and ourselves. Through participating in the Embody Project, I now know more about my body and myself. I am so appreciative for this incredible, uplifting, and joyous experience.