Aim and Release
I was once a hunter. I hunted for laughter, play and companionship, and the bounty was full. But the prize I wanted the most was the source of these pastimes… I hunted for Love. But Love found me first. Love had watched me my whole life and all the while, I searched for its fleeting presence. I followed its tracks. Not a place did I go, did I not find Love’s markings. It was always so close and with its traces everywhere, it seemed like such an easy catch. But Love always seemed to keep me on its heels. Toying with me, while all along I never knew I was under Love’s watch. I followed its heavenly floral scent. I saw its presence in the eyes of those that had seen Love. I heard it in the infants cry and the whistling wind. I saw it in the opening of the flowers to the Sun… everywhere.
I was driven mad by my search. Love’s scent was maddening. Its marks were maddening; always dangling like a carrot before me, yet just out of reach. For years I searched. I became angry, then hungry, then overwhelmed with desperation. I was exhausted and parched, weak and broken. I feared for my sanity and my life. Till finally, I dropped to my knees and surrendered to my defeat.
I tore the clothes from my flesh and gave my whole being to this surrender. I had pulled and pulled at myself until there was no self left. I released and put myself at fate’s mercy. That’s when the arrow struck! Everything became silent. Everything…completely still. All of time… past, present and future became one instant; Eternally Now, an eternal piercing of Love’s trajectory into my heart.
I looked up and then I saw before me… Love! Naked… unashamed… yet fully humble in its most ineffable beauty, like a child. I was stunned, for in Love’s hand was a bow and then I remembered. I looked down and there my heart lay, split wide open; an arrow piercing its center. I suddenly became frightened. I struggled to pull it from my heart. This struggle seemed to last an eternity. Lifetime after lifetime seemed to pass. During my struggle, I saw into the lives of All. I saw everyone’s struggles, I saw war and famine. I saw bloodshed and such sorrow. I saw Life born and Life lost. I saw Love gained and Love lost, over and over again. I saw into the wounded hearts of us all and my heart split further open and finally I let go of my struggle again.
Each time I released, I was filled with unconditional Love for all humanity, for all existence. I saw with their eyes, I felt with their hearts, Love and Pain became indistinguishable. All became naked to me, all was revealed. No more secrets, nothing left to hide. Then I remembered having been them all. Everyone, in all of time. I became All that IS. All ideas of separation were consumed in the inferno of All that IS. Fully stripped of all I thought I was, I experienced all that I Am, all that is I, which is all that IS! So fully bare was I that all that was left was an undifferentiated state. All opposites absorbed into One Beingness.
Then… Love spoke. “Foolish human! This whole time you searched for me, hunted me down and never knew I was all around you, watching you, sometimes touching you, even within you. Yet you were so obsessed with your hunt for me that you never noticed my true presence. I watched and waited patiently as a true hunter does, waiting for just the right moment for my shot. Sure, you saw the signs I left around for you, the ”tracks” as you called them, but you could never set your sites on me! This whole time, you thought you were the hunter but you were only the prey. Then, when I’d finally driven you mad, brought you to your whit’s end, brought you to your knees in humility… laid you bare and fully vulnerable while releasing your idea of control, I saw the time had arrived. I saw my shot. I took aim and released my arrow into your open, exposed heart. Not till you were fully naked and defenseless could my arrow penetrate your heart. And once pierced, you died to your separate self and awakened to your Full Self. Now that you are fully revealed, you and I can now be One. For all good hunters know that one must become their prey before they can know their prey.”
At that, Love and I merged and became One. I was the hunter and the prey. Now, here I rest before you… still naked… still vulnerable and fully revealed. I’ve chipped my flint with the cold stone of Life’s tribulations and sharpened it further on the gritty scabs of Humanity’s wounds. I’ve dipped its tip in Life’s healing waters and in the blood of my open heart. When it hits, you will feel both Pain and Love, but with surrender they will become One… and you and I will become One. I see you. Yes… I see you… Now, I’m ready to take my bow and this arrow. I’m ready to take aim… and release!